Things I’ve Seen

Great article on religion in Australian politics from New Matilda (by someone who appears actually to have listened to the gospel reading last sunday…)

This was a time when it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it was for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. But times have changed. We now have heavy machinery. If you’ve got the readies, there is no longer any problem forcing large quadrupeds through any aperture. Either manufacture a needle big enough to accommodate a camel or buy an engine with enough thrust to extrude a dromedary.

Published in the Sydney Morning Herald by Mike Carlton . I got to it from yourdemocracy.net.au via a tip from New Matilda.

HOWARD DIDN’T KNOW
With apologies to Banjo Paterson.

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
Knowledge, sent to where I met him at the wheat board, years ago
He was chairman when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him
Just on spec, to make the point, that “Howard doesn’t want to know”.
And an email came directed, not entirely unexpected
(And I think the same was written in some Middle Eastern bar)
‘Twas his CEO who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it,
“Trevor Flugge’s gone to Baghdad and we don’t know where he are.
But when he left Australia, he was going to meet with Alia,
A trucking mob in Jordan, who were keen to grease the wheels
For 10 per cent commission, they could swing Saddam’s permission
To get our wheat accepted: it’s the mother of all deals.
But I guarantee, Prime Minister, that there’s nothing at all sinister:
The chaps at DFAT told us that the sums looked quite okay.
When you’re selling wheat in billions, what’s a quick 300 million?
If it keeps the Nationals happy it’s a tiny price to pay.”
Sitting here at Kirribilli, I’ve been thinking, willy nilly
That it’s somehow reminiscent of the children overboard:
But I can handle Rudd and Beazley as I always do, quite easily,
By endlessly protesting that there’s nothing untoward.
I’ll tell Bush next time I meet him at
The White House, when I greet him,
That I’m sure he’ll understand about the wheat board’s quid pro quo:
He’ll forgive this minor error in the global war on terror
When I look him in the eye and tell him Howard didn’t know.

This would be fun even if it wasn’t GWB…

(thanks to Hester)

From crikey.com.au, via brainsnorkel.com

AWB: Downer couldn’t see the wood for the trucking fees

Waking up like being drunk

“For a short period, at least, the effects of sleep inertia may be as bad as or worse than being legally drunk,” said researcher Kenneth Wright of the University of Colorado at Boulder.

I know, it’s been around for a couple of weeks, but I’ve been busy, ok?

From Computer Stupidities: Hardware Abuse

Fact: Boston Computer Museum sells chocolate bars shaped like floppy disks.

Fact: Three year old kids see daddy boot his computer using a floppy to play games.

Fact: Computers are warm inside…even some quite expensive computers.

Thinking of giving up coffee?

In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning.

So, the other evening I was looking up an article that I remembered reading in bloglines. I initially thought it was on OddThinking, but when I couldn’t find it, I thought maybe it was written by girtby.net. Fortunately, there was a link on OddThinking’s blogroll to girtby, so I followed it.

I’m sure that it was just a typo by OddThinking, but instead of girtby.net I ended up at girtyby.net. If you go to girtyby.net now you’ll find a relatively innocuous search page - but last week it contained some very unworksafe images… which are presumably now cached on my laptop

A cheap gag from the comments at John Quiggin

John Howard: “Hey Kim, joke for yer - when is an Opposition not an Opposition?”
Kim: “I was just going to say that!”

The Blowfly Alarm Clock

Set the time on its base and leave the Blowfly there. When the alarm activates, it spins a propeller and flies up above you making ridiculous noises. The only way to stop it is to wake up, grab it, and set it back down in its docking station.